The key ideas

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton, 1981

Two people argue over whether to open a window or shut it, and no gap pleases them both. A classic from the Harvard Negotiation Project on settling conflicts on their merits, with no battle of wills and no surrender. Four principles, stories from a library to Camp David, and a fallback plan for when agreement just won’t come.

Who it is for

For anyone tired of choosing between “give in” and “push through”: in an argument with a boss, a partner, a neighbour or a child.

Be soft on the people, hard on the problem.

What the book is about

Two people in a library are quarrelling over a window. One wants it open, the other wants it shut. They haggle over how far to open it: a crack, halfway, three quarters. No option pleases them both. How did the librarian settle the argument so that both walked away happy? You’ll find the answer a few pages on.

This story comes from Roger Fisher and William Ury, founders of the Harvard Negotiation Project. Their book came out in 1981 under the title Getting to Yes. To the authors, a negotiation is almost any conversation where two people want different things: about a salary, a renovation, or who picks the child up from nursery.

A word on what kind of book this is. It is a method built by practitioners out of their own work, and it rests mostly on examples, not on rigorous experiments. Ahead are the method’s four principles and a fallback plan for when agreement just won’t come.

Idea 1. The trap of haggling over positions

A customer and the owner of an antique shop are haggling over a brass dish. One names a low price, the other a high one, and each gives ground bit by bit. The authors have a name for this: positional bargaining.

In their experience, the longer you defend a position, the more you become attached to it. Giving way starts to mean losing face. The haggling drags on, the result can come down to who is more stubborn, and the relationship suffers. The soft approach, giving in to keep the peace, doesn’t help either: the one who yields risks losing to the one who digs in.

The authors offer a third way and call it principled negotiation: settling the dispute on its merits instead of in a contest of wills.

A Livria example. A couple argues about their holiday: “only the sea” against “only the mountains”. An hour later, the argument is about which of them gives in more often.

The harder you stake out a position, the more it can cost to step back from it. That is why an early, rigid stance sometimes closes the door to a solution that would have suited you both.

Read in Livria

About the author

Roger Fisher was a Harvard law professor and one of the founders of the Harvard Negotiation Project. William Ury co-founded the project and is a negotiation expert. Bruce Patton joined as a co-author in later editions of the book.

All books by this author: Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton

Terms from the book

  • Positional bargaining: The authors’ term for an argument in which each side states its demand and then gives ground bit by bit.
  • Principled negotiation: The authors’ method: separate the people from the problem, focus on interests instead of positions, look for options that benefit both sides, and rely on objective criteria. It is the authors’ model, not a scientific law.
  • Brainstorming: A stretch of time when you come up with options without criticising them, and judge them only later.
  • Objective criteria: Outside yardsticks for settling a dispute that don’t depend on either side’s will: market price, the law, an expert’s opinion, precedent.
  • BATNA: Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement: what you will do if you can’t reach a deal.

All terms

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