The key ideas

The Charisma Myth

Olivia Fox Cabane, 2012

Marilyn Monroe rode the New York subway without anyone recognizing her. On the street, she tousled her hair, struck a pose, and a minute later a crowd surrounded her. Olivia Fox Cabane believes charisma is more a set of behaviors than an inborn gift, and breaks it down into presence, power, and warmth.

Who it is for

For anyone who speaks in public, negotiates, manages people, or simply wants others to feel listened to in a conversation.

Charisma depends on how fully present you are in each interaction rather than how much time you have.

What the book is about

In the summer of 1955, Marilyn Monroe went down into the subway beneath New York’s Grand Central Terminal. A magazine editor and a photographer were with her. The platform was full, but nobody recognized her.

On the street, she asked the photographer, “Do you want to see her?” She tousled her hair and struck a familiar pose. A couple of minutes later, a crowd surrounded her.

Olivia Fox Cabane teaches charisma to executives and company founders. This story introduces the book’s central question: if charisma can be switched off and on, might it be more a set of behaviors than an inborn gift? This is a practical guide combining psychology findings with meditation and acting techniques. The model is her framework rather than an established scientific law.

Idea 1. Dinner with two rivals

London, 1874. William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli are competing to become prime minister. In a story the author recounts, both invited the same young woman to dinner in the final week before the election. “After dinner with Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest person in England. After dinner with Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest person in England.”

Disraeli won the election. One story does not explain an election result, but for Cabane it is a precise image of charisma.

Her model has three elements: presence, power, and warmth. She condenses them into questions we silently ask on meeting someone: “Can you move mountains for me?” “Will you want to?” and “Do you understand which mountains I need moved?”

In an interview, one candidate talks only about their victories. Another does that too, but also asks about the team’s challenges and listens to the answer. People may remember the second more warmly.

In Cabane’s model, charisma is judged by what someone feels beside you. In her view, that means charisma can be practiced as a skill.

Read in Livria

About the author

Olivia Fox Cabane teaches charisma and leadership and was director of innovative leadership at the Stanford StartX startup accelerator. She has lectured at Harvard, Yale, MIT, and the United Nations. Her books include The Charisma Myth and The Net and the Butterfly.

All books by this author: Olivia Fox Cabane

Terms from the book

  • Presence
  • Warmth
  • Microexpression
  • Impostor syndrome
  • Responsibility transfer: The author’s technique of mentally handing a situation’s outcome to something greater to reduce anxiety. An exercise from the book rather than a psychotherapeutic method.

All terms

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