The key ideas

Words That Change Minds

Shelle Rose Charvet, 1995

Why do the very same arguments fire one person up and leave another cold? Shelle Rose Charvet shows that the way people talk reveals what motivates them and how they think. The book gives you the 14 patterns of the LAB Profile model, questions to recognize them, and Influencing Language that hits the target precisely.

Who it is for

For anyone who persuades, sells, leads, hires, or simply wants to be heard — at work and at home.

People respond not so much to the meaning of what is said as to words that match the way they themselves think.

What the book is about

You're explaining a great idea to a colleague: logically, with numbers, with benefits. He nods, and does nothing. A week later someone else tells him almost the same thing, just in different words. And your colleague lights up. Frustrating? You bet. But it wasn't your idea that lost. It was your words.

Shelle Rose Charvet spent years teaching negotiation, sales, and management using the LAB Profile model — the “Language and Behavior Profile.” It was created by Roger Bailey, who based it on Meta-Programs from NLP. The main discovery sounds almost like a magic trick: HOW a person talks — not what about, but how — reveals what motivates them and how they process information. The book contains 14 patterns. For each one there's a simple question, telltale signs in speech, and “Influencing Language” that hits the target precisely. We'll go through them in order — from what gets a person going to what makes them say “yes.” And at the end we'll look at how to speak when you're facing a whole room of strangers. And notice: you've already taken the first step — you chose a book about how to hear others. Plenty of people who complain that no one understands them never take it.

Idea 1. Language reveals motivation, but it's not a label

The most surprising thing about this book: a person doesn't need to tell you what drives them. They're already doing it — in every sentence. You just weren't listening.

Charvet explains: people filter the world differently, and those filters show up in the structure of their speech. The LAB Profile divides the 14 patterns into two groups. Motivation patterns show what triggers a person and what stops them. Working patterns show how they process information, in what conditions they work best, and how they become convinced.

But there's a catch, and the author warns about it insistently. These are not personality types. A pattern is behavior in a specific context. A person is one way at work and another at home, and in a couple of years they may change. The typical mistake is to say “he's just like that” and stick a label on him forever. You don't profile the person — you profile their responses in a situation.

How to apply: today, in any conversation, catch yourself focusing on the content. Switch to the form: which words does the other person choose, what do they repeat, what do they emphasize.

Your friend is decisiveness itself at work: she takes on tasks and hands out assignments. Yet she spends months discussing the kitchen renovation with her mom and her neighbor. That's not a contradiction. It's just two contexts — two different patterns.

Listen not to what people say but to how they say it, and remember: it's about the situation, not the character.

Read in Livria

About the author

Shelle Rose Charvet is a Canadian expert in communication and influence, a consultant and trainer who has taught the LAB Profile model around the world for many years.

All books by this author: Shelle Rose Charvet

Terms from the book

  • LAB Profile: The “Language and Behavior Profile” — Roger Bailey's model for identifying a person's motivation and work preferences in a specific context from the way they speak.
  • Meta-Programs: Meta-Programs are a concept from NLP: stable perception filters through which a person selects and processes information. The LAB Profile is built on them.
  • criteria: The label words a person uses for what matters to them in a given context (“freedom,” “growth,” “reliability”).
  • Proactive: The Proactive pattern — a tendency to act on one's own initiative, quickly, without waiting for a full analysis.
  • Reactive: The Reactive pattern — a tendency to think things over first, analyze, and wait for the right circumstances.
  • Sameness with Exception: An attitude to change in which a person values gradual development: the same thing, but better, more, faster.
  • Rule Structure: A pattern about how a person relates to rules for themselves and for others, and whether they are willing to state them out loud.
  • Convincer Channel: The way a person gathers information in order to be convinced: seeing, hearing, reading, or doing it themselves.

All terms

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