The key ideas

Your Erroneous Zones

Wayne Dyer, 1976

You say “he ruined my mood” and have no doubt that it's true. In 1976 Wayne Dyer argued with that phrase: in his view, feelings grow out of what you tell yourself, and every self-defeating habit is held in place by a hidden payoff. The book shows six such traps through real-life stories and gives simple ways to get out of them.

Who it is for

For those who fall into the same traps again and again: blaming themselves for the past, worrying about the future, waiting for other people's approval and putting life off until later.

Needing approval is tantamount to saying, “Your view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself.”

A sentence almost everyone says

Picture a morning spoiled by one sentence from your boss. All day it goes round in your head, and in the evening you explain to the people close to you: “He ruined my mood.” Almost everyone talks like this, and almost no one doubts that it's true.

The American psychologist Wayne Dyer worked for many years with people who came to him with stories like this, and in 1976 he wrote a book that argues with that sentence. He takes apart the habits by which a person harms himself: guilt, worry, the need for approval, the eternal “later.” He has one name for all of them: erroneous zones.

Two ideas run through the whole book. The first: you are made up of your choices, and even your feelings, in Dyer's view, are something you choose. The second: you can only live now, and almost every erroneous zone leads you away into a past that can't be brought back or a future that doesn't exist yet.

Ahead: a man who changed his convictions to suit every person he talked to, Dyer himself at a typewriter in Turkey, and a marriage built on keeping score of “who owes whom.” It won't be easy, the author warns. But you can start right now.

The boss thinks Cal is stupid, but it isn't the boss who upsets Cal

Cal, a young executive from the book, spends most of his time agonizing over one thought: his boss thinks he is stupid. Dyer asks a simple question. If Cal knew nothing of his boss's opinion, would he be unhappy? Of course not. So what upsets him is not his boss's opinion but what Cal tells himself about it. And also the fact that he has decided someone else's assessment matters more than his own.

The whole book rests on this. Dyer reasons as if solving a logic puzzle: you can change your thoughts, feelings grow out of thoughts, so your feelings are in your power too. This is his logic, not a law of science. But his question is hard to brush aside: if you aren't the one controlling your thoughts, then who is? Your boss, your partner, your mom?

The habit of handing your feelings over to others sits in the language itself: “You hurt my feelings,” “He drives me crazy.” Dyer suggests speaking honestly: “I hurt my feelings because of the things I told myself about your reaction to me.” It sounds odd, but a sentence like that puts you back behind the wheel.

Which feeling is worth changing? Dyer's measure is simple: one that keeps you from living the way you want, won't let you fall asleep or say a warm word to the people close to you. That state, from mild indecision to complete inaction, he calls immobilization.

It won't work right away. Dyer compares learning a new habit of thought to learning to drive a stick shift: at first, three pedals for two feet and a thousand mistakes, and then one day you get in and drive without thinking.

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About the author

Wayne Dyer was an American psychologist with a doctorate in counseling and the author of some twenty books on self-development. This 1976 book made him famous.

All books by this author: Wayne Dyer

Terms from the book

  • Horace
  • Euthanasia
  • Tracy
  • Mark
  • Erroneous zones: Dyer's name for the habits of thought and behavior by which a person harms himself: guilt, worry, the need for approval, procrastination and others. The author's image, not a scientific term.
  • Cal: A young executive from the book who was tormented by the thought that his boss considered him stupid.
  • Immobilization: Dyer's word for any state in which a feeling keeps you from acting the way you want: from mild indecision to complete inaction. The author's term, not a medical diagnosis.
  • Little Hope: A girl from Dyer's example who gave up drawing after her teacher's words.
  • Ozzie: A middle-aged man from the book who changed his opinion to suit every person he talked to.
  • Karamursel: A small town in northwestern Turkey, on the shore of the Sea of Marmara.
  • Harold: A client of Dyer's who feared being laid off for months, and after it happened found a better job than the old one within three days.
  • Judy: A client of Dyer's who ran her marriage on the principle that “everything must be fair.”

All terms

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