Book quiz
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find, and Keep, Love Quiz
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find, and Keep, LoveAmir Levine, Rachel HellerWhy are some people drawn to partners who keep pulling away, while others feel closeness as a cage? Amir Levine and Rachel Heller bring attachment theory to adult love and describe three styles: secure, anxious and avoidant. You'll learn how to tell anxiety from passion, why calm relationships can seem boring, and…
Question 1 of 5
What do the authors think of the advice not to need a partner and be self-sufficient?
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Right answer: It's wrong: needing someone close is normal
The authors push back on the idea of self-sufficiency: wanting a partner to be close and responsive isn't a whim or a character flaw, it's a normal need.
Question 2 of 5
What does an anxious person's protest behavior actually do?
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Right answer: Seeks closeness but pushes the partner even further away
Protest behavior comes from wanting closeness, but reproaches and games push the partner away. It aims for closeness and works toward a breakup.
Question 3 of 5
In an anxious-avoidant couple, what do the big highs and lows mean, according to the book?
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Right answer: An alarm signal, not a measure of love
A swing between excitement and longing is easy to mistake for passion, but the book sees an alarm signal: the attachment system switched on and off.
Question 4 of 5
You're dating someone who makes you feel calm and sure, but there's no spark. What would the book advise?
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Right answer: Give it a chance: warmth that grows slowly often lasts longer
If love has long come with anxiety, calm feels like boredom. The book sees calm as a sign of safety and advises not to rush away.
Question 5 of 5
Someone you've recently started dating often disappears for days. What would the authors advise?
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Right answer: Calmly say it matters to you to know they're okay
The authors advise naming your need directly and without blame. How the other person responds shows whether they're right for you.
Want all of the book's key ideas? Read or listen to its retelling in Livria.